Genevieve K.

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans15:13

This promise is one of many from God’s word that has encouraged me during a season suffering. The trials I’ve faced during the past six years have actually strengthened my faith even though it felt threatened and shaken. God has been training my faith to stand up strong and brave. He’s training me in every circumstance to believe his goodness and His promises. God has used the proving of my faith to teach me to persevere. I realize I am not a lone sufferer this side of heaven and so I hope my story of suffering can point another sufferer to God’s grace. 

This season of suffering started in 2014 with a genetic cancer in my young niece that required drastic surgeries and treatments. It continues to threaten her life. Then in summer of 2015 the brutal rape of our daughter by a stranger. Followed in December of 2015, the day after Christmas, with the tragic accidental shooting of another of our daughters that resulted in her becoming paralyzed. And, as if those blows weren’t enough to rock our world, in March of 2016 my dearly loved younger sister was diagnosed with an aggressive and destructive disease from which she died in January of 2017. She was the single mother of my young niece with cancer. Six weeks after her death, my niece’s cancer returned and more major surgeries and treatments have followed.

To say my world felt rocked to its foundation would be accurate. I found that the circumstances in this difficult season magnified the sorrows of a whole lifetime and I questioned God’s goodness and love for me and my family. I felt close to losing hope. I questioned God’s promises because my painful circumstances at the time felt larger than God’s kindness and love. I struggled with accepting that I really don’t control everything and don’t know why tragic things happen. In my shock and grief, I struggled and fought to keep the expectations I had for my life from displacing my confidence in my gracious and sovereign God. The grief that loomed so large in my heart seemed like it could swallow up my faith in God.

But God has been patient with me. He has been close to me. He has whispered the truth from His word to my heart. He has assured me of His personal love for me. I am prone to be weak and wavering, but I stayed in fellowship with Him through spending intimate time with Him in His word and in prayer. It is He who has been faithful to draw me close and settle my heart on His promises. He has given me His peace and told me to not let my heart be troubled. He has never left me or forsaken me. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He’s my Savior from sin and now I know He is my Savior in suffering. Now I see that my suffering and sorrow have actually matured me. They have taught me to trust Him no matter what circumstances I face. By grace, I hope in Him and believe His promises are true. Now He has filled me with all joy and peace!