Meet Kaleb Pish
When I was about 3, my parents divorced. They split before I had a fully developed memory, so I don’t really remember them together. All I had known growing up was spending a set amount of time at my mom’s house, and another set of time at my dad’s. Still, one could say I grew up in a very stereotypical Christian household; my parents both took me to their churches every Sunday, I had (and kind of read a little bit) a Bible, and I had a general, loose understanding of Jesus Christ and His relationship with me. I floated through the first years of life like this, not making God the cake, but merely the cherry on top - making God a part of my life not the center. All of this came to a sudden halt in the summer leading up to my 5th grade year.
I was at my mom’s house, getting ready to head back to my dad’s for the week. My stepdad had been sick for 1-2 months at this point, and was in the hospital at the time of my visit to my mom’s. As we were getting into the car, we get a call from the hospital. My stepdad had just passed. This brought my life and my flimsy faith crashing down. I had never experienced such immediate, and intense pain. He had been an important and loving part of my childhood, and he had loved both me and my mom so much. I had no idea what to do. I had thought that Christians couldn’t experience loss, and that since I had God wasn’t there for me. I felt this way for most of that year, but didn’t really talk about it. That summer, I had finally aged into something that would later change my life.
Pine Cove was something that my family knew and loved, as my older stepsister had been to the camp multiple times before. I signed up as soon as I could. I was excited for it, but in hindsight I wasn’t thinking of Jesus when I thought of Pine Cove, but all of the stuff I’d get to do (who could blame me? I was a 5th grade boy after all). When I got to camp that Saturday afternoon, it was even better than I’d imagined; they had everything I had dreamed of and more. At first I was only focusing on the physical things at camp. However, on night one my preset attitude toward that camp was blown out of the water. The worship was phenomenal, there was an actual live band that was praising God…right there!!! After worship the camp pastor gave a really good sermon, kicking off the week. I left that building speechless, barely able to process what I had just experienced. Most of the week went on like this: me experiencing all that the camp had to offer physically during daylight, and all the camp had to offer spiritually after the sun went down.
Then, in the middle of the week, the camp pastor ended his sermon early, then called all of the counselors to get their groups and find a quiet space around camp. But before he let us go, he said something along the lines of “If you’ve never truly put your faith in Christ, I urge you to do that tonight.” That’s all I needed to hear. As I was walking with my cabin to our little section of camp, I felt a strong tug at my heart that I needed to do what the pastor said and follow this Jesus guy. Compared to early life me, and even 5th grade me, I was a lot older, and needed someone to lean on when life’s not easy. So far that week, I had done life with people who wanted to follow Him for the rest of their life. I wanted that too. So I told my counselor, we talked, and I truly believed and committed my life to Jesus Christ for the first time.
I saw an almost immediate change in my life. After camp I got a study Bible, that would challenge and spur me on to continue growing in my walk with the Lord. I started participating in church more. I shifted the way I spent my time to focus more on God. I began to talk about Him more openly at home and in school, and I started to gain a real, working knowledge of the Bible that I could use in any situation. I also finally realized that my thought process in 5th grade was wrong - because we are Christians we will go through trials, and God is there for us to lean on. Through this new understanding, I was able to talk and work through my caged up grief over my stepdad. That new mindset couldn’t have come at a better time.
On October 14th, 2021, not even 2 and a half years after my stepdads passing, my mom committed suicide. She hadn’t taken my stepdads loss as well as I had, and coupled with new information regarding her medical condition, she saw no way out of her pain accept the relief of non-life. I felt numb. I felt as if I was trapped under continuously beating waves, preventing me from rising out of the water. She was my mother. The one I spent half of my life with. The one who did her best to make it to every single thing I did, no matter its importance. A huge hole was ripped in my heart. But, while I was sitting hunched over in an overwhelming amount of grief and sadness, while I was focused on what I had lost, God was sitting right there beside me with His strong hand on my shaking body. He surrounded me with a community of people who truly loved and cared for me, who easily looked past my flawed and fragmented life, and raised me up. Not just them, but God Himself, through His building of my new mind, allowed me to endure. I slowly saw how God could use this to spread and expand His Gospel.
My strangely non-depressive reaction to my mom’s passing suddenly served as a way for me to share God’s Word with others. I saw myself mature beyond anything I could have imagined, and impact others just as much. I felt more aware of who I was, and where I was in the world. I had been unknowingly prepared to take loss, and still praise and follow and spread God. David’s 13th Psalm sums up my new thought process perfectly: “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long will I store up anxious concerns within me, agony in my mind every day? How long will my enemy dominate me? Consider me and answer, Lord my God. Restore brightness to my eyes; otherwise, I will sleep in death. My enemy will say, ‘I have triumphed over him,’ and my foes will rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in your deliverance. I will sing to the Lord because he has treated me generously.”
Psalms 13:1-6 (CSB).
Also Philippians 1:18, “What does it matter? Only that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is proclaimed, and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice”
Philippians 1:18 (CSB).
Because of Gods renewal of my mind, I’m now very open to sharing my experiences, and have found that talking to others about losses and hardships helps me in more ways than I could possibly imagine. I fully believe that I would not be here today, nor have the friends, or relationship with God that I do, without the losses I’ve experienced. They’ve shaped me into the person I am today, and continue to grow my faith in Him.
So, if any of yall are going through loss, or have just gone through loss, I strongly encourage you to run to God with it, and to talk to someone about it. And know that you are not alone. I’ll bet that someone you know can relate to what you’re going through, so don’t be afraid to open up. Know that God is good, and there’s good beyond the struggle
I was at my mom’s house, getting ready to head back to my dad’s for the week. My stepdad had been sick for 1-2 months at this point, and was in the hospital at the time of my visit to my mom’s. As we were getting into the car, we get a call from the hospital. My stepdad had just passed. This brought my life and my flimsy faith crashing down. I had never experienced such immediate, and intense pain. He had been an important and loving part of my childhood, and he had loved both me and my mom so much. I had no idea what to do. I had thought that Christians couldn’t experience loss, and that since I had God wasn’t there for me. I felt this way for most of that year, but didn’t really talk about it. That summer, I had finally aged into something that would later change my life.
Pine Cove was something that my family knew and loved, as my older stepsister had been to the camp multiple times before. I signed up as soon as I could. I was excited for it, but in hindsight I wasn’t thinking of Jesus when I thought of Pine Cove, but all of the stuff I’d get to do (who could blame me? I was a 5th grade boy after all). When I got to camp that Saturday afternoon, it was even better than I’d imagined; they had everything I had dreamed of and more. At first I was only focusing on the physical things at camp. However, on night one my preset attitude toward that camp was blown out of the water. The worship was phenomenal, there was an actual live band that was praising God…right there!!! After worship the camp pastor gave a really good sermon, kicking off the week. I left that building speechless, barely able to process what I had just experienced. Most of the week went on like this: me experiencing all that the camp had to offer physically during daylight, and all the camp had to offer spiritually after the sun went down.
Then, in the middle of the week, the camp pastor ended his sermon early, then called all of the counselors to get their groups and find a quiet space around camp. But before he let us go, he said something along the lines of “If you’ve never truly put your faith in Christ, I urge you to do that tonight.” That’s all I needed to hear. As I was walking with my cabin to our little section of camp, I felt a strong tug at my heart that I needed to do what the pastor said and follow this Jesus guy. Compared to early life me, and even 5th grade me, I was a lot older, and needed someone to lean on when life’s not easy. So far that week, I had done life with people who wanted to follow Him for the rest of their life. I wanted that too. So I told my counselor, we talked, and I truly believed and committed my life to Jesus Christ for the first time.
I saw an almost immediate change in my life. After camp I got a study Bible, that would challenge and spur me on to continue growing in my walk with the Lord. I started participating in church more. I shifted the way I spent my time to focus more on God. I began to talk about Him more openly at home and in school, and I started to gain a real, working knowledge of the Bible that I could use in any situation. I also finally realized that my thought process in 5th grade was wrong - because we are Christians we will go through trials, and God is there for us to lean on. Through this new understanding, I was able to talk and work through my caged up grief over my stepdad. That new mindset couldn’t have come at a better time.
On October 14th, 2021, not even 2 and a half years after my stepdads passing, my mom committed suicide. She hadn’t taken my stepdads loss as well as I had, and coupled with new information regarding her medical condition, she saw no way out of her pain accept the relief of non-life. I felt numb. I felt as if I was trapped under continuously beating waves, preventing me from rising out of the water. She was my mother. The one I spent half of my life with. The one who did her best to make it to every single thing I did, no matter its importance. A huge hole was ripped in my heart. But, while I was sitting hunched over in an overwhelming amount of grief and sadness, while I was focused on what I had lost, God was sitting right there beside me with His strong hand on my shaking body. He surrounded me with a community of people who truly loved and cared for me, who easily looked past my flawed and fragmented life, and raised me up. Not just them, but God Himself, through His building of my new mind, allowed me to endure. I slowly saw how God could use this to spread and expand His Gospel.
My strangely non-depressive reaction to my mom’s passing suddenly served as a way for me to share God’s Word with others. I saw myself mature beyond anything I could have imagined, and impact others just as much. I felt more aware of who I was, and where I was in the world. I had been unknowingly prepared to take loss, and still praise and follow and spread God. David’s 13th Psalm sums up my new thought process perfectly: “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long will I store up anxious concerns within me, agony in my mind every day? How long will my enemy dominate me? Consider me and answer, Lord my God. Restore brightness to my eyes; otherwise, I will sleep in death. My enemy will say, ‘I have triumphed over him,’ and my foes will rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in your deliverance. I will sing to the Lord because he has treated me generously.”
Psalms 13:1-6 (CSB).
Also Philippians 1:18, “What does it matter? Only that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is proclaimed, and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice”
Philippians 1:18 (CSB).
Because of Gods renewal of my mind, I’m now very open to sharing my experiences, and have found that talking to others about losses and hardships helps me in more ways than I could possibly imagine. I fully believe that I would not be here today, nor have the friends, or relationship with God that I do, without the losses I’ve experienced. They’ve shaped me into the person I am today, and continue to grow my faith in Him.
So, if any of yall are going through loss, or have just gone through loss, I strongly encourage you to run to God with it, and to talk to someone about it. And know that you are not alone. I’ll bet that someone you know can relate to what you’re going through, so don’t be afraid to open up. Know that God is good, and there’s good beyond the struggle
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