Meet Lisa Garrison
Meet Lisa Garrison
I accepted Jesus as my Savior at an early age and felt that, as a Christian, I was supposed to always be good and not mess up. I believed the lie that if I wasn’t good enough God wouldn’t keep me. I began people pleasing, thinking negatively of myself, and a deep fear of rejection wove its way into my heart. I continued seeking God but didn’t think of Him as my loving father. I believed that He would give up on me if I didn’t do things right. I was in complete bondage to fear. I kept all of this hidden inside from everyone except my wonderful husband. To everyone else, I held up the façade that “all was well.”
Soon after the birth of my first sweet baby, I became less engaged, emotionally distant, and began having crippling intrusive thoughts that drove me to my knees in fear. The despair I experienced was like being stuck in a deep, dark hole. I cried out to God, read His word, and listen to praise music trying to feel near Him, but I felt nothing. I was convinced God had given up on me. A bright spot was the memory of a dream God had given me years earlier. I dreamt I was in a crowded room. A lion came into the room that focused on me. As it lunged at me, I yelled “Jesus!” and the lion disappeared.
I ultimately hit a wall and begged God to take me home to escape the unbearable thoughts that plagued me. After two years of living this way, my husband helped me to seek Christian counseling. I found a Christian psychiatrist who I feared would condemn me. Instead, he extended God’s loving kindness. Helped me to see that I was suffering from both deep depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. We chose a treatment plan that included medicine and regular counseling.
As time passed, I saw that the dream I’d had years earlier, was God telling me that the enemy purposed to destroy me, but all I had to do was call out to Him and He would rescue me. And He has. God has broken the chains of fear, doubt, and depression; even my OCD. They don’t own me, God does. My mental illness doesn’t control me because I fully trust the one who is in control. I still have tough days occasionally, but I have JOY because I know that I am God’s beloved daughter, no matter what.
Posted in Faces of Faith